I love her so much and wanna see her happy again…all I do is think about her and it kills me that she won’t talk to me…seriously the silence hurts worse than anything…I cry cause I love her so much and when I see her upset, it upsets me 10x worse.. I try distract myself from the pain i feel through school and work, but it doesn’t help. All I want is her by my side. With here by my side I can accomplish anything.. I really want that again.. I want her to be truly happy again, why do I always screw up the best things I have going for me…first school, now this… Why do I punish myself with this…why can’t I just be happy and make those around me happy again.. Why am I such a screwup…. I pray to God that I can fix this or I will fall into a hole that I don’t think I’ll be able to climb out of. Please God lead me in the right direction to fix this and make everything right. All I want is her happiness, its most important to me and her by my side…please God give me the strength..please God I beg you.